Nic and I used to discuss about the wedding that happen around us.
We don't see any couple around us are steeping into the church because of love, pure love.
Or pure love only happen in fairy tale?
Wedding to your couple is no longer a 'big' thing, a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony.
Everyone got their own reason get marry. But, I have never hear anyone who said it is because of love.
Either because of pregnant, parent, getting old - age, or assigning job location (few of my teacher friend are getting marry because they don't wish to be assign to too far away from Penang)...
Can someone? Someone out there tell me that they want to walk down the aisle because of love?Because I love him? I want to spend the rest of my life with him?
Anyone?
Don't get me wrong. I know of course you love her/him too, if not you won't marry her/him. However, there are always so many reality issue that we need to bring into discussion when we talk about a marriage/wedding which make it no longer a wonderful experience. Budget for wedding, difficulty to book a hotel for wedding dinner, problem to reserve a good photographer or make up artist, accommodation and transportation for relative/friend to come down to the town...
Conclusion, no fairy tale. Wedding will never be a fun experience. =)
7 comments:
WX once write about this as well in his FB's notes.. I put down the same thought as well - impossible to get married with just pure love, no other realistic reasons?
Then got all sorta responses.. Saying that I'm too much in my fairy tales...
Actually can't really say 'nowadays' only this appear ma.. Our ancient also got married just because need to have children..
So conclusion: Get married cause of pure love, only appear in TV series or movies.. Romantic ones...
Sad enough... But that's the TRUTH!
I am with the person I love all the time (living together). Social norms do not require me to get married in order to spend that amount of time together. Naturally, if I am a Muslim or in a different country, the social norms might mean I need to get married first, then spend that kinda of time together.
I want to spend the time with the person because of love. Otherwise, what's the point? But If in order to do that, i need to be married - then i will be married.
Matrimony means different things to different people though, I don;t know whether you can generalise. Personally, it is to legitimise my relationship, with the family, society and God. But i am not a religious person. So, it's just family/society. :) Of coz, my gf would want to get married just for love (like now)..but to me - it's optional (until baby time) because love will always be there. of coz, for insecurity of either side - legal marriage is a good way to tie people down too. hahaha
btw, i know quite a few friends who are married because they want to (for loooove).:) they are mostly kiwis (as marriage is always optional). I believe many of my malaysians friends are married for love too (though it is overwhelmed by the family and religious requirements).
kittyin:
shake hand for the pessimistic gang
Kam:
u know...sometimes i feel that some ppl said that marry becoz of security in legal side. but at KL, how much a paper can do for u? Wat it benefit it can give a being divorced-wife? I really doubt the function of that paper.
i m just looking for some friends around me who got marry bcoz of love like ur kiwi frens. sincerely i hope there are more around us.
there are a lot more out there. :) i am one of them. sharon too. :) plus, many that i know - do the wedding/marriage for themselves. and they re ahving fun planning it. talk to sharon about it!. ahha
well it's an interesting subject.pure love marriage is sacrament.a good marriage is about love,how it make us happy,gives us someone who cares for us,and results in the gift of children-these are all wonderful blessings from a marriage with love.of course life is sometimes a carousel:sometimes you're happy,sometimes you're sad,sometimes you go round n round.that's where both parties learn to understand each other more-tolerance,patient n respect gives love space to grow.
if i asked u to picture your life,what image would come out of your mind to think that 'pure love marriage is only a fairy tale'.what's the meaning of love in this new era-is there no real love n marriage-maybe a small number of people whom dare not take the risk or are not confident enough or taking love as a party;primary value of love then will vapor.
the way you see your life shapes your life-how do value true love determines
the realistic of 'pure love marriage'.
getting married is not about having babies, it's a heavy responsibilities-need a lot of sacrifices, need to give up lots of 'hobbies' which you're free to attend when you're single,lots of commitments,understanding n challenges.
we're from the era where our parents were match-make but now you chose your own partner,yet
there are those whom don't believe in pure love-sad.what's happening to this new generation-is there a 'kia-su' syndrome.dare not take up the challenges to settle down!
marriage is not to please others but two person in love!
why so 'grey' about love, girls and boys? falling in love is the spark-the first look,the first smile,the first heart beat but true love will only prevail after that spark.the real person in you and your partner.
love is not a drama,imagination,dream,novels or fairy tales-true love only starts after that spark.to understand and know each other,to tolerate and sail through difficult and good times together.( small number of young people nowadays are having nigtmare when it comes to marriage coz for them it involves freedom,financial,responsibility,tied-down but not love).
wake up!why so phobia about love and settling down? true love is to love the person with all your heart and walk down the aisle with joy and happiness.if you cannot accept that you got a big problem with yourself,you don't know what is love.
i can easily share with you many true love stories around me.very sad to say what's wrong with you and the people around you,so pessimistic bout true love!( like robots, no feeling leh )
always the saying is 'love is blind' but i think you're not blind enough.don't mix reality and materialistic together with love. there's no calculation in love.there's no bargaining. love got no 'why'- if i love you means i love you lor- why? don't know leh!
posted by rose teo- a mother's point of view!
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